Friday, September 7, 2007

You're probably asking yourself why I have such a lame title

First off, shout out to TDS for getting me to start one of these things. I think Joe Cho started this whole idea of questioning what we're doing and where the world is going sophomore year with his 'Corporate Matrix' theory, so he deserves some credit too.

What I have planned for this blog is a place to basically express my unhappiness with the realities of life and how little choice you have with regard to your future without serious intervention and active lifestyle decisions. For those of you who know me, it is quite evident that I am a generally happy dude, so this isn't any sort of communist rant. Rather, I hope to explain some of my feelings on what life is, how it is perceived by me, and maybe how it should be.

So two weeks ago I started working at a financial services consulting company. We basically do business analysis for financial services companies, assessing risk and helping large companies better manage this risk. I went to Princeton and majored in finance/operations research, but the closer and closer I came to graduation and 'the real world' I began to realize that, however trite, the biggest risk is not taking any. Going to Princeton, majoring in finance/economics, working at a consulting/finance firm, and coasting through life living comfortably sounds pretty great to a lot of people. However, there is little to no risk in this sort of life, no matter how difficult any of those things may be.

And with no risk, there is little risk premium, as they say in the business. Risk vs. Reward. Low risk --> low reward.

Following that concept, I just feel like taking risks right now. I wanna throw it all on fucking red. I'm 21 and for some of the people that I graduated with, I can already picture their lives for the next 20 years. They could very well be happy with that life, but it's depressing. I initially wanted to title this blog 'Should I Jump', but figured that if it got combed through by NSA or something ridiculous like that, I would get taken away in the middle of the night by men in either dark suits or white lab coats.

'Should I Jump' is obviously metaphorical. Should I move to colorado and try a new climate, new lifestyle, new people? What's the worst that could happen? I could fail miserably, bring back some ridiculous stories about my failures and come back to do the same exact thing I'm doing now. What's the best case scenario? I could find my life's passion, fall in love, change the world. But the point is that its really hard to jump off something incredibly flat and safe when you don't know what is necessarily at the end of the rabbit hole. And although as consultants/financial engineers/economists we may be trained to evaluate the risks of businesses, portfolios and other entity's assets, we rarely look within ourselves to evaluate our own future, risks involved and how we should go forward in order to maximize (if that is possible with human emotions) and enrich our lives through venues other than money.

This is why I decided to call it 'Risk Analysis'. It will be somewhat of a self analysis that you can play/read along with as I start work, change my home, make new friends and keep reevaluating who I am and where I want to be.

As you can tell, if you made it this far, I have trouble focusing on a specific point (this pertains to things other than my writing as well, such as sports, girls, work, etc...), but I'll try to keep these posts somewhat focused from now on.

3 comments:

Thomas Sweeney said...

This was great, LBJ (Lyndon B. Johnson?)! Obviously a great topic -- how one's life should relate to one's vocation. Are they mutually exclusive or inextricably linked? A lot of good metaphors in there, and I love the irony of being a consultant but never consulting one's own life. Sweet work, dude. Keep it up.
Peace,
- TDS

Jason Aramburu said...

Good Stuff LBJ. I will definitely subscribe. You know, there's always room outside the Corporate Matrix at Ecovolve, though we don't have a Zen Zone... yet.

French Humanist said...

LBJ, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post, great material indeed.I find myself in a similar situation, dissatisfied with the conventionalism of today’s societies, driven by greed, money, and power. Don't you sometimes just want to take off into the unknown, leaving everything behind? I know I do...Look forward to reading more of your work.

PS. If you haven't seen the film "Into The Wild", directed by Sean Penn, you should definitely check it out.